بِسْمِ ٱللّٰهِ ٱلرَّحْمَٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيم
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Hello, Lieblings!
How are you doing today?
Despite our current adversity and keeping up adapting with the new normal, I hope you and your loved ones are staying healthy and safe at home. For those who are observing Ramadhan, I hope you are maximizing the last couple of days of Ramadhan. May Allah bless us with unconditional peace and tranquility.
After all this time being forced to stay at home and be left with so much time in your hands – does your mind start to get tangled? So many ideas may be overflowing inside our heads, suddenly our creative sides boost, and at some point, we realize that we got so much potential within us.
But then on the way of looking for some inspirations from other people to execute the ideas, we tend to... you know it. Compare. Too much comparison may actually make us having something psychologists call ‘inferiority complex’. Personally, I consider this as an alien word to me until a couple days ago a dear friend of mine brought this topic up. (Special credit goes to Rifka!💖)
So what does inferiority complex even mean?
According to the Cambridge Dictionary, an inferiority complex means a feeling that you are not as good, as intelligent, as attractive, etc as other people.
Still feel it’s an alien term by now? 👽
I wouldn’t lie, sometimes the roughest, judgemental, and meanest person to myself... is me all along. Every time my mind came up with a kind-of brilliant idea, there is a monkey voice on the back of my mind saying things like,
“Ohahah are you sure you are worthy of doing it?”
“Hmm I think you really lack skills at this matter, you have no chance,”
“Du-uh there are so many talented other people doing it already, your idea is no good at all.”
“Are you reALLY sure you wouldn’t be inconsistent?”
Yeah, monkey voice because 1) It’s annoying, 2) I can hear the monkey voice saying unnecessary trash featuring its high-pitched laugh, feeling good that I am slowly drifting away. Sometimes it gets so noisy here inside. The feeling of wanting to sleep to make the voices inside me stop saying unwanted things is unbearable. 🐵
Then, I remember listening to an audiobook version of Oprah Winfrey’s The Wisdom of Sundays a couple months ago. A book about Oprah’s spiritual journey and her wisdom towards perceiving what she believes about the soul and the spirit. It’s blatantly a shift-turner book that made me want to repeatedly listen to it. Long story short, this book is full of ‘aha moments’. What I find unique about this audiobook is that, rather than to ‘read’ the printed version of the book as a monologue, Oprah made it as a compilation of meaningful conversation with the guests – some, from her Super Soul Sunday show.
If anyone of you thinks this one is a doctrine of any certain religion, the answer is no. Rather than as what people may consider as religious, it’s more 'spiritual'. The idea of the book is getting wisdom from various (AMAZING) people with their inspirational perspectives towards love, life, mindfulness, fighting ego, grace, and gratitude, etc. Beautifully written words from Oprah that actually enrich your mind and soul I’d say.
In one of the chapters, Oprah talks with one of the guests, Michael A. Singer that is well known for his book titled The Untethered Soul. In a nutshell, he talks about this what I called the noisy ‘monkey voice’. There are actually a few lines of his book that are being discussed that I kept in my mental-brain notes until this point – though I sometimes forget. Should better keep it in Google Keep.
“People go through so many changes in the name of ‘trying to find myself’. They want to discover which of these voices, which of these aspects of their personality, is who they really are. The answer is simple: none of them.” (Michael A. Singer)
I was like. Dayumm.
Basically what Mr. Singer writes is that we are not our minds. To be happier, we should be conscious and aware of our role as only the listener, the observer of our mind. Those belittling, toxic thoughts? Dear, believe me, they are not you. Though those thoughts are out there, it’s your choice to listen to it or not.
As thought-provoking as it should be, he continues with a line that I keep close to my heart.
“In order to be who you are, you must let go of who you think you are.” (Michael A. Singer)
When I think of it, sometimes I’m being overly harsh and mean to myself. Covering the real painful words through shades of (toxic) motivation. Though I’m still dwelling with it and oh God, it is sure a hell of a ride. Cause, believe me, words that are spoken are not easy to put into action.
I was flabbergasted with the Instagram stories from an entrepreneur named Uma Hapsari, the founder of Amazara. Here is the paraphrased version of it,
“Ask yourself, are the judgment and fears are worth it to be heard and eventually stop you for reaching your dreams? For voicing the voice that you have, things that you need to say, to help other people who may need your help? If it’s not, maybe it’s time for us to let that aside and to rather focus on what we can actually contribute.”
We tend to blame society for giving irrelevant opinions and demotivating advice though in reality, it’s what we chose to consume all along. After all this time we busy ourselves seeking for who we are and what we believe, without realizing that the stars are actually within us.
(Oop what a very poetic paragraph I should be proud of.)
Hesitating to apply for a scholarship? Hey, trying is never a mistake. Been wanting to write a novel? Write it now! Start a Youtube channel? Podcast? Bullet journalling? No doubt, you'll get a handle of it. Learn to illustrate or to write typographies? I can't understand why haven't you even start yet as I see so much potential hidden in you. 🙇
Hesitating to apply for a scholarship? Hey, trying is never a mistake. Been wanting to write a novel? Write it now! Start a Youtube channel? Podcast? Bullet journalling? No doubt, you'll get a handle of it. Learn to illustrate or to write typographies? I can't understand why haven't you even start yet as I see so much potential hidden in you. 🙇
Now, I want you to name the most beautiful places on Earth you could think about at the moment. You may mention Bora Bora in French Polynesia, Raja Ampat Islands in Indonesia, Zakynthos Island in Greece, Niagara Falls in Canada (yeah as you can see I have an abnormal relationship with anywhere watery). And I’d never lie, those places ARE undoubtedly breathtaking and exhilarating.
But you know what, every time you are feeling not good enough towards yourself, I want you to Google picture those beautiful places and ponder about what God says in the Qur’an Surah At-Tin verse 4 (95:4).
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| source: quran.com |
Of all those seemingly the most beautiful and flawless places on Earth, even God says that we are the best of creations. As a reminder foremost to myself, let’s step by step accept who we actually are with all of the flaws while being more aware of the voices inside our head. In order to heal, we need time and that's normal! We are in this together and I believe, we could get the hang of it. ✌
You are you, and no other. And that is what makes you special.
Need more evidence to prove that you are ‘that’ precious?
I don’t think so.
Here is a little gift just for you to end this rough week, well done! I hope you have a blast today and find this post somewhat beneficial. 😊
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Love and light,
Sintya🌹
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