posts in category Inspiring
Friday, May 15, 2020
Inferiority Complex, A Game Changer
بِسْمِ ٱللّٰهِ ٱلرَّحْمَٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيم
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Hello, Lieblings!
How are you doing today?
Despite our current adversity and keeping up adapting with the new normal, I hope you and your loved ones are staying healthy and safe at home. For those who are observing Ramadhan, I hope you are maximizing the last couple of days of Ramadhan. May Allah bless us with unconditional peace and tranquility.
After all this time being forced to stay at home and be left with so much time in your hands – does your mind start to get tangled? So many ideas may be overflowing inside our heads, suddenly our creative sides boost, and at some point, we realize that we got so much potential within us.
But then on the way of looking for some inspirations from other people to execute the ideas, we tend to... you know it. Compare. Too much comparison may actually make us having something psychologists call ‘inferiority complex’. Personally, I consider this as an alien word to me until a couple days ago a dear friend of mine brought this topic up. (Special credit goes to Rifka!💖)
So what does inferiority complex even mean?
According to the Cambridge Dictionary, an inferiority complex means a feeling that you are not as good, as intelligent, as attractive, etc as other people.
Still feel it’s an alien term by now? 👽
I wouldn’t lie, sometimes the roughest, judgemental, and meanest person to myself... is me all along. Every time my mind came up with a kind-of brilliant idea, there is a monkey voice on the back of my mind saying things like,
“Ohahah are you sure you are worthy of doing it?”
“Hmm I think you really lack skills at this matter, you have no chance,”
“Du-uh there are so many talented other people doing it already, your idea is no good at all.”
“Are you reALLY sure you wouldn’t be inconsistent?”
Yeah, monkey voice because 1) It’s annoying, 2) I can hear the monkey voice saying unnecessary trash featuring its high-pitched laugh, feeling good that I am slowly drifting away. Sometimes it gets so noisy here inside. The feeling of wanting to sleep to make the voices inside me stop saying unwanted things is unbearable. 🐵
Then, I remember listening to an audiobook version of Oprah Winfrey’s The Wisdom of Sundays a couple months ago. A book about Oprah’s spiritual journey and her wisdom towards perceiving what she believes about the soul and the spirit. It’s blatantly a shift-turner book that made me want to repeatedly listen to it. Long story short, this book is full of ‘aha moments’. What I find unique about this audiobook is that, rather than to ‘read’ the printed version of the book as a monologue, Oprah made it as a compilation of meaningful conversation with the guests – some, from her Super Soul Sunday show.
If anyone of you thinks this one is a doctrine of any certain religion, the answer is no. Rather than as what people may consider as religious, it’s more 'spiritual'. The idea of the book is getting wisdom from various (AMAZING) people with their inspirational perspectives towards love, life, mindfulness, fighting ego, grace, and gratitude, etc. Beautifully written words from Oprah that actually enrich your mind and soul I’d say.
In one of the chapters, Oprah talks with one of the guests, Michael A. Singer that is well known for his book titled The Untethered Soul. In a nutshell, he talks about this what I called the noisy ‘monkey voice’. There are actually a few lines of his book that are being discussed that I kept in my mental-brain notes until this point – though I sometimes forget. Should better keep it in Google Keep.
“People go through so many changes in the name of ‘trying to find myself’. They want to discover which of these voices, which of these aspects of their personality, is who they really are. The answer is simple: none of them.” (Michael A. Singer)
I was like. Dayumm.
Basically what Mr. Singer writes is that we are not our minds. To be happier, we should be conscious and aware of our role as only the listener, the observer of our mind. Those belittling, toxic thoughts? Dear, believe me, they are not you. Though those thoughts are out there, it’s your choice to listen to it or not.
As thought-provoking as it should be, he continues with a line that I keep close to my heart.
“In order to be who you are, you must let go of who you think you are.” (Michael A. Singer)
When I think of it, sometimes I’m being overly harsh and mean to myself. Covering the real painful words through shades of (toxic) motivation. Though I’m still dwelling with it and oh God, it is sure a hell of a ride. Cause, believe me, words that are spoken are not easy to put into action.
I was flabbergasted with the Instagram stories from an entrepreneur named Uma Hapsari, the founder of Amazara. Here is the paraphrased version of it,
“Ask yourself, are the judgment and fears are worth it to be heard and eventually stop you for reaching your dreams? For voicing the voice that you have, things that you need to say, to help other people who may need your help? If it’s not, maybe it’s time for us to let that aside and to rather focus on what we can actually contribute.”
We tend to blame society for giving irrelevant opinions and demotivating advice though in reality, it’s what we chose to consume all along. After all this time we busy ourselves seeking for who we are and what we believe, without realizing that the stars are actually within us.
(Oop what a very poetic paragraph I should be proud of.)
Hesitating to apply for a scholarship? Hey, trying is never a mistake. Been wanting to write a novel? Write it now! Start a Youtube channel? Podcast? Bullet journalling? No doubt, you'll get a handle of it. Learn to illustrate or to write typographies? I can't understand why haven't you even start yet as I see so much potential hidden in you. 🙇
Hesitating to apply for a scholarship? Hey, trying is never a mistake. Been wanting to write a novel? Write it now! Start a Youtube channel? Podcast? Bullet journalling? No doubt, you'll get a handle of it. Learn to illustrate or to write typographies? I can't understand why haven't you even start yet as I see so much potential hidden in you. 🙇
Now, I want you to name the most beautiful places on Earth you could think about at the moment. You may mention Bora Bora in French Polynesia, Raja Ampat Islands in Indonesia, Zakynthos Island in Greece, Niagara Falls in Canada (yeah as you can see I have an abnormal relationship with anywhere watery). And I’d never lie, those places ARE undoubtedly breathtaking and exhilarating.
But you know what, every time you are feeling not good enough towards yourself, I want you to Google picture those beautiful places and ponder about what God says in the Qur’an Surah At-Tin verse 4 (95:4).
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| source: quran.com |
Of all those seemingly the most beautiful and flawless places on Earth, even God says that we are the best of creations. As a reminder foremost to myself, let’s step by step accept who we actually are with all of the flaws while being more aware of the voices inside our head. In order to heal, we need time and that's normal! We are in this together and I believe, we could get the hang of it. ✌
You are you, and no other. And that is what makes you special.
Need more evidence to prove that you are ‘that’ precious?
I don’t think so.
Here is a little gift just for you to end this rough week, well done! I hope you have a blast today and find this post somewhat beneficial. 😊
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Love and light,
Sintya🌹
Tuesday, March 10, 2020
Superwomen Who Shift Mountains
بِسْمِ ٱللّٰهِ ٱلرَّحْمَٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيم
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Hello, Lieblings!
Not only to commemorate International Women's Day on the 8th March, I decided to post this because today is no ordinary day for a special someone -- but I can't spill the tea just yet! Please first do take time to read the rest of this post haha.
Not really long ago I started reading a book that Malala Yousafzai had written, "I am Malala". That book gave me quite a number of goosebumps just reading all of her hardship she and her family had to go through including the shooting tragedy. For those who don't know her yet, Malala was shot when she was 15 on a bus as her compassionate passion for education sparks a threat to the Taliban.
I couldn't even imagine being positioned in her shoes... But this seeming tragedy that was intended to make her keep shut, made her voice even louder. Her fiery spirit leads her to be the youngest Nobel Prize awardee, the UNICEF Ambassador, and even the founder of the Malala Fund. Her words and actions are thought-provoking. It had woken me up to keep on moving to fight for what we believe is right.
"I want every girl to know that their voice can change the world." (Malala Yousafzai)
Scrolling through Instagram is no longer a toxic activity for me after I found out that there are lots and lots of inspiring people especially young women. My impression of them was like "Dang, mereka mengguncang dunia!" There are a lot of people from different fields of study that had inspired me to be the better and the better me.
I found Melati Wijsen because I was following the World Economic Forum on Instagram. Since she was 12 years old, she and her sister had empowered and inspired so many young people especially in Bali to be a changemaker and started Bye Bye Plastic Bags (BBPB) in Bali -- a campaign to stop plastic pollution. In 2019 the Bali government finally agreed to ban plastic bags. The movement grew and grew until it recently has 50 active teams that spread in 29 countries.
Melati also created a program called Youthopia, where young peeps will be trained with basic skills like public speaking, leadership, organizational, and even will be given workshops from other young changemakers. How cool is that?!
"Everything is interconnected. We no longer look at things and think of it as a burden but more of as an opportunity for us to really state what we believe and drive forward from the heart. We don't have the luxury of time to wait and sit back and relax. Be brave and start taking actions today." (Melati Wijsen)
As for healthy lifestyle content creators, to be honest I don't even know where to start! Everyone has their own colors and they embrace it beautifully. I love it that I could effortlessly tell that these people are very dedicated to what they are doing and the fact that their contents are bringing positive vibes into this world full of darkness haha.
Pick Up Limes (yeh it's a pun) is owned by Sadia Badiei. Entitled a bachelor of dietetics, her youtube channel contents rotate towards yummy vegan recipes, thoughtful but uncomplicated information regarding nutrition, living a healthy life, and many more. I couldn't lie that she also inspired me to keep on blogging and even sparked my interest more into studying biochemistry and nutrition! If you have time, please do take a look at her website, Pick Up Limes.
Liah Yoo is another story. You know that chaebol stories in Kdrama? Dang, when I look at Liah it feels like she just literally walked out of my laptop screen! For me, she is the Yoon Se Ri in Crash Landing On You. I remembered found her Youtube channel when I had acne breakout and doesn't really what to do. Her contents gravitate towards skincare, obviously, as in beauty reviews, chemical ingredients, what should or shouldn't be applied at the same time.Finished her bachelor with the title bachelor of arts from Ewha Woman's University (in Spatial Design) in South Korea, no one really expects that she is the founder + CEO from Krave Beauty! She learned the 'art' of skincare with only the intention of sharing the information with those who needed help and everything else just flows naturally. I love it that she keeps everything real and realistic. Even if she looks like a shining star, she won't hesitate to share that, she too, just a powerless human being. Sometimes her life too had ups and downs along with its storms and flaws but it's her hard work that turned it into sun rays. I promise, her 'down to the earth' spirit wouldn't let you leave her Youtube channel empty-handed!
As for self-help, I think Aida Azlin, Lavendaire, and Haegreendal channels are really my top recommendations. They have their own ways to shine and I really adore how they 'hug' their community family with the intention to spread kindness.
Kak Aida Azlin really inspires me in a way a bigger sister would tell her little sisters what she thinks about life from the (mostly) Islamic perspective. Every time I'm stuck in my 'futur' phase (when your Imaan is at its low point) I'd usually go to Kak Aida's channel to recharge. What I love about her is that her words don't force me to be a certain person to be good, but instead I should've looked at my flaws and how can I embrace it and turned my perspective into seeing it as something beautiful. I always feel inspired and content after watching her vids. FYI every Tuesday, Kak Aida will send a Tuesday Love Letter thru e-mail for sisters that have subscribed to her website. Her love letters are no joke -- as if she had attached all her love and passion to serve the Muslimah sisterhood.
Thanks to Aileen Xu, I regard Lavendaire as one of the few channels that the host is being blessed with a beautifully calming voice! I could actually relate to Aileen's life story countless of times as she had gone through complicated phases of 'mencari jati diri' -- seeking her true self. I love her Lavi Lifestyle Podcast the most because she often invites stunningly inspiring and cool people from different kinds of fields. The fact that it is available on many platforms, such as Google Podcast, Spotify, and Apple Podcast makes it easier for me to listen.
As for Haegreendal, she is a stay-at-home mom that made me believe that cleaning the house is a very prestigious and graceful thing to do. Like, what superpower that she has to make this lazy, hobi-rebahan-girl starts moving and take that mop?! After thinking about it for a while I came to the conclusion that she just simply... grateful for her life. She showered every single of her videos with literal love and light. Her videos are actually quite simple, but they are all seriously aesthetically pleasing. Just watching them can even calm down my nerves.
Actually, there are still lots of women that inspire me every day like Dr. Sylvia A. Earle, Frida Kahlo, Emma Watson, Maudy Ayunda, Selena Gomez, Yuna Kim... This is gonna be an endless post obviously. However, although they make me realize that out of all these invincible influencers there is this very crucial role that plays the biggest role in my life.
The role of a mother.
As I said at the beginning of this post, today, almost half a century ago my superwoman was born. She is neither a famous Youtuber nor someone that has millions of followers on Instagram. She might be seen as just one ordinary person, but the truth is, she is one of a kind in my eyes. How amazing it is to hold the pain of giving my birth 19 years ago and not ever once regret raising me and my sister. She is a humble, patient, and passionate woman with lots of flaws, but I'm really blessed and grateful to have her as a mother. If you by any chance, a student of hers in UGM -- I really envy you, man. She loved you all dearly and even sometimes neglecting me while marking all those exam papers! Lol.
Thank you for being my go-to each time tears pour down my face and in my happiest moments.
Barakallah fii umrik, uri eomma. Ich liebe dich.
Love and light,
Sintya
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