Saturday, June 13, 2020

Changing Our Mindset Towards Change

بِسْمِ ٱللّٰهِ ٱلرَّحْمَٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيم
Assalamu'alaikum

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Hello, Lieblings!
I hope everything is alright and may the sun shines in every direction you are taking.

I’m actually (still, duh) in my gap semester and had actually started to send university applications. The thing is, my friend, I was actually thrilled to read all of the modules that I need to prepare for uni. That means I need to do something about my ugly habit of binge-watching Netflix and to actually start studying. 🙉

I discussed Uni life to some of my pals and seniors to at least have some perspective or even to get a precaution of how should I construct an ideal learning plan. Well, guess what? The conclusion is actually: Versuch einfach zu uberleben. In short, stay alive. Dayyyum. For me, facing uni is a new thing, a new experience I’ve never felt before. And I won’t lie, I’m scared to death knowing I know nothing about it.

Yesterday, I actually spoke one and two things about the Neuroscience behind discomfort and fear with my dear friend, Dina. (Oh how I like discussions!) I really think it’s such an interesting thing to explore and decided to read more about it. According to Medical News Today, Neuroscience is the study of how the nervous system develops, its structure, and what it does. In a nutshell, learning the still-learning brain.

Well, I’m sorry (but not sorry) for unintentionally representing myself as a freak brainiac tho lol. Though this seems like a challenging topic, it's actually not hard to understand. I guess? It’s really important to know how our brains are hardwired so that you won’t be tricked (or fooled) by your brain anymore. Just like what it did to me.

Wha- wait, tricked?

I know it seems weird and at some point, even me and Dina thought our brain is like one particular another being that is glued to us and steer everything for the sake of us. Particularly, for things that we favor the most. Though maybe... not for the better us.

Is it starting to get complicated?
Do you feel like clicking that X button?
I won’t blame you anyway, because it’s your brain that is labeling this post as a threat to your relaxing time. Screaming, no no please no more heavy stuff to think about!!
Just kidding.

Understanding how our brain reacts to and processes to change could actually shift and evolve the way we think and approach it.

To complicate things even further (du-uh), Neuroscientists said that our brains are hardwired to do easy and well-habituated tasks as well as to fear change. Why? Our brains need a decent amount of energy to process change, as it ‘trigger’ the part of the brain called the prefrontal cortex – you know just that strict annoying friend that is responsible mainly for decision making.

Well, yea it requires so much energy indeed. Now you know why is it easier to say, ‘terserah’ – up to you, every time your gang asked you where and when to meet up? Yea, won’t blame you cuz it’s only your brain tirelessly searching for a good place with good price to eat on a Saturday night. Sorry. A 'lil bit sarcasm won’t hurt, eh?

On the other side, well-habituated tasks, things that we frequently do in our everyday life, are being stored in the basal ganglia. The one is responsible to store long-term memories. That lil friend that is moody, hates ugly things and making decisions depending on what had happened in the past. This buddy makes us behave the way we usually behave without us even thinking about it. The brain requires less energy for this to function.

Maybe we should actually think critically of whatever challenge and change we are facing. Change, or even the thought of it, puts our brains in a ‘threat state’ immediately. Thus making us feel uncomfortable and uneasy. Again, due to the amount of energy the brain uses while in that threat state. (Remember our old friend, the prefrontal cortex?)

In a nutshell, we don’t like change, because our brains are hardwired to dislike it. But that doesn’t mean we could do nothing about it.

The brain is a lazy old man in his late 80s, but it’s actually up to us to convince this lazy old man to actually do something and telling him this particular task is ALRIGHT. Rather to see changes as something scary, we should look at it as a challenging task to explore. Our perspective affects hugely to the way our brain labels some tasks.

As the default of our brain is actually protective, as Nicole Spectore wrote in NBC News, when we introduce a change of routine into our life, our brain is also on guard and ready to pounce, immediately considering the possible threat a change can carry.

Will this hurt me? What are the gain and losses when I do this task?


Sometimes, though some things are good for our growth, we are afraid cuz we aren’t just used to it or simply because we are lacking information about it. Just like me taking that chance to compete in a storytelling competition back in middle school. SurPRISE!! 😙

At first, it was undoubtedly scary. I started to imagine horrible things, like what if I caught a heart attack in the middle of the show or what if I suddenly can’t speak anything due to stage-fright and what if I faint?! Such a drama queen, I know right.

But as time goes by and the more I practice, the more I'm informed of what are the right things to do, my brain starts to change the label of particular task from ‘possibly-life-threatening unidentified new thing’ to ‘something familiar’ that I actually enjoy of doing. The sentence practice makes perfect is not only a brainwashing motivation teachers and coaches used for hundreds of decades after all.

Every new start seems scary, wouldn’t lie. But once you dove deep down into it (re: berkecimpung, is that even a word) there is a huge possibility you will enjoy it. Just, start. It might seem challenging as there are always people that are better than you.

But, everything starts from zero. It’s hard, but we must accept the fact that we are all once a beginner. It’s absolutely fine to feel scared at some point and that doesn’t mean we couldn’t grow to be a better us, am I right, mate?

Just like me, feeling scared of getting into Uni.
Oh and no, this isn’t self-defense.
Just kidding.


Back when I was in high school, I was so scared that I’d fall behind my friends. I feel trapped as they were all such evil geniuses (no, not like that Thai movie) without even have to learn as much as I do. At least, that’s what I see. I feel so stressed out that self-proclaiming myself as the stupid one and could nothing about it. Well, things do look complicated when left unresolved. But then I found something on Pinterest that change my way of looking at things since then.

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Our brain is still learning how to learn up until this second. I strongly believe what we actually consume (re: information) could affect our ways of thinking. I recommend watching inspiring movies based on real-life (but not the Conjuring, thanks), documentaries, even study vlogs and study with me videos on Youtube. I haven’t found the research yet, but in my case, the more it is relatable to my everyday life, the more my brain is convinced to work harder as those goals don't seem unreachable. And sometimes, Ghibli movies! I recently watch Whisper of The Heart and damnnn it is so simple yet inspiring. Maybe that works for you too 😄

Our brain is a wonderfully intelligent organ that primitively reacts to change the same way it did hundreds of years ago. (Yep, good news Einstein is included.) We all have the same 24 hours a day and 365 days a year (except for Leap Years that consists of 366 days). But it's about what you do during those times that makes a difference. There is that X-Factor and amount of hard work that makes Einstein, Einstein. Mbak Najwa Shihab, Mbak Najwa Shihab. And us? Us.

Make every second count.

*screams* | credit
You and Seiji both are like unpolished gemstones in their natural state. You have to find the rough gems inside yourself and polish them. It takes time and effort. You can't expect perfection at the beginning. (Whisper of The Heart, 1995)


I'm no expert in this field, but this seems like an interesting subject to talk about. Might be wrong on this and that, just tell me if I made some errors! I dedicate this post actually for my little sister that is currently fighting the demons of laziness to prepare for her upcoming senior year of high school. If you are facing similar adversities, I know you are going to excel in this. Though it such a pain in the ass. You are brilliant and you are can be anyone you wanted to be 😊

In the meantime, I want to thank you for giving me the chance to share my thoughts... with you! This blog is only an analog form of my brain – my brain dump. From me, for me. That’s why I’m thrilled every time an unexpected someone sent me an unexpected heartwarming message of how my random, unstructured posts affect them. I mean, what did I do to receive such a huge honor T^T Could never thank you enough.

Stay safe and healthy friends. May you have the ability to face every challenge with kindness and your heart be filled with bravery and courage.

Love and light,
Sintya✌


If this post sparks your interest, let me recommend you some fruitful articles worth your time:
Resources:

Saturday, June 6, 2020

Surviving Indecisive Uni Decisions

بِسْمِ ٱللّٰهِ ٱلرَّحْمَٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيم
Assalamu'alaikum

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Hallo, Lieblings!

How have you been?

Lately, I’ve been busying myself with my university applications – things that actually bother people in the same high school year as I did 2 years ago if you are wondering. But that doesn’t really matter anyway. Back then I was actually didn’t get the hype of all my friends being indecisive of their choices and so-called path of life. Time flies really fast, man. I remembered the first day of Studienkolleg was driving me insane and suddenly this particular indecisive stress floods my mind.

In Germany, we are not limited to choose any university of our liking. Say it 2, 5, or even 20. You can actually apply to as much uni as you want. However I came to realize that the more options you have, the more decision you have to make, thus the more exhausted your brain will be. I don’t know if this is a normal thing to experience or is it me that overthink. I feel like this is a VERY big deal for me as this is the place I’m going to be attached to for the next 3 years. Yes, three. Officially you only need 3 years to get your Bachelor degree  -- if possible.

I explored, researched, let that thousands of tabs in the browser tab until indefinite time range, let my laptop in the sleeping mode for several days, asked as many people possible, made connections with people from that particular university, and received good and the not-so-good feedback. All of this experience gave me thrills of excitement and fear at the same time. 

I’m scared of going forward, fearing I wouldn’t choose the right path. But the entrance door has been shut closed. There is no way back.


I was actually looking for any enlightenment possible until I came across one particular podcast on TED Talks Daily – a mind shifter talk from an Emergency Room (ER) doctor named dr. Darria Long. She talked about changing mindset from ‘crazy mode’ to ‘ready mode’.  My head is crazy noisy right now. Especially at the time being really indecisive.

In a nutshell, dr. Darria talked about the trinity:
  1. Relentlessly triage,
  2. Design for crazy,
  3. Get out of your head.
Let me explain.

1. Relentlessly triage

Meaning to decree challenges based on its urgencies. We all sometimes tend to respond to all of the challenges the same way. Individuals who couldn't differentiate threat and non-threat thus reacting the same way through every challenge has doubled the level of stress hormone. You can't do it all at once and you don't have to, because we triage.

There are some circumstances that force us to throw some work out of the list – things that are beyond our capability, things that we must move on from, even if it’s gut-wrenching. In the Emergency Room (ER) dr. Daria mentioned that the doctors there are being trained to ‘mengikhlaskan’ or let it be. If you wanted to do everything -- even things that aren't worth fighting for anymore -- then you’ll have no energy to dwell with the real majors. 

2. Design for crazy

Half of handling the crazy is how you prepared for it. How can we prepare, so that the task will be easier to do? Plan, automate, decrease temptations!

3. Get out of your head

Meaning we have to shove away all of that internal screams and temptations to walk away. FACE IT. This particular part, I don’t actually want to summarize it. As it’s indeed a meaningful story. Here is what I kind of paraphrased while listening to the talk.

One day, a woman came to the ER for labor and I realize that the cord was wrapped around the baby's neck, not once, but twice. I was the only doctor available. I am indeed scared, but I couldn't let it de-rail me. We all get scared and nervous but it is what you do next that matters. That first feeling isn't the problem, it could be an important sign, the problem is when it derail us.

In ‘crazy mode’ our internal monolog started to catastrophize thus making us start to get that tunnel vision. We couldn't finish anything that way. Now, how to get out of our own head then? I tend to actively put the focus on someone else. I see myself in the arena — what do they need? what do they fear? and how can I help?

Research shows that when you prime your brain with what essentially compassion we disrupt that tunnel vision and internal monologue thus broaden your perception so your brain could actually take in more information – making you see more possibilities and make a better decision. Just try it! Know that your internal monolog can derail you. If you get out of your own head, you get on your way.

I didn't focus on what I feared, but on the mother and the baby. On things, they needed me to do. So I got the cord off and the strong cries of a newborn drowned out the sirens and beep in the ER. When I walked out of the room and saw some of my other patients in the ER, I came to realize something. Despite some of their own problems that had brought them to the ER, they've all come together to root for the baby and share the joy.

When you go from crazy mode to ready mode, others notice. They actually want to do it, they just don't know how they just need one example — which could be you.


This made me realize, hey, scary things that have been told as ‘testimonies’ before might be happening to some people. For example in my case, low probabilities of finishing the Bachelor in time, failure in exams, high standardized professors, highly competitive environment, and the list goes on.

But they are them and you are you. It’s kind of unfair for me to judge my self-worth based on other people’s experiences. Like what I did a couple days earlier. I was really scared hearing some people’s stories, but then a good friend of mine, Dila, told me: “Kalo ga ambil cuma karena takut gagal ngga cucok sih kayaknya.” – “If you didn’t take the chance just because you’re afraid of failure... it’s not cool.”

You know that particular time when you know what you need to be doing or thinking about, but need someone to confirm your thoughts? Yeup. Thanks dil, HAHA.

Design for crazy! Rather than giving up your targets and ambitions of reaching your ‘end game’, what can you do now to lower the possibility of failing in the future? Which steps do you need to take if you want your pinnacle to be at a particular height? The output is the game changer I suppose.

Let’s say we all know that Harvard University is one of the best schools in the whole wide world for almost all majors. But, does that apply when you wanted to be a wizard? Well, you need to go to Hogwarts for that, dude. Though you may be the smartest geek in Harvard and probably founded a multi-billon company, does that doesn’t make you be able to reach your dream of becoming a wizard.

Going to Harvard may be tempting. Knowing the prestige, the networking, the smarties of the smarts are there, and the data-based testimonies!! But again we have to triage correctly. Is this what we need to do in order to get our willing output of being a wizard? Again, our targetted ‘end game’ plays a gigantic role in our decision. Let me ask you a question, who do you picture yourself to be in 4 or maybe 5 years from now? Does that decision make you closer, to who you wanted to be?

At some point, we might want to choose a path that has a higher probability of survival rate (at Harvard you won’t have to be struck by lightning bolts during Quidditch, facing evil Death Eaters, or died instantly because someone said Avada Kedavra to you, duh). But even real data-based probability may not apply to everyone, including us.

There is still that X-Factors we may have that others don’t and vice versa. At the end of the day, how we value our worthiness towards any particular decision depends on how well we walked through the fire – how we cope with the challenges. The limit of others might be yours if you looked at it the same way as they did. But let me remind you that you are still capable into turn it into a challenge instead.

It’s in our hands to see fire as a life-threatening being or as the beginning of life. 
Brave yourself to try. Face it. Adapt to the odds. Survive.

You know, sometimes it's not you that overthink the probabilities, but it's you that let fear controls your decision. Take the chance, HAJAR RASA TAKUT!

I really hope that you’ll soon receive that ‘aha-moment’ in whatever hardships or indecisive situations you are facing right now. Please, please for my Uni applications too haha, hope it all works out. In the meantime, stay healthy and productive!!
“The thing about growing up with Fred and George," said Ginny thoughtfully, "is that you sort of start thinking anything's possible if you've got enough nerve.” (J.K. Rowling in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

Love and light,
Sintya✌
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